Welcome to the wild west of entrepreneurship, where roles blur, coffee is currency, and HR is just... you, your dog, and a very overwhelmed Google Doc. If you’ve ever found yourself Googling "how to fire someone nicely" while scratching your pup's ears and editing an onboarding checklist, this one’s for you.
Let’s take a hilarious-yet-honest stroll through the chaos, creativity, and conundrums of being a one-person HR department — with a little help from man’s best friend and some cloud-based magic.
The Solo HR Hustle: Just You and a Dream (and a Dog)
Starting a business is exciting. You’ve got the passion, the plan, and probably some sort of caffeine-induced optimism. But then reality hits: you’re the boss, the janitor, the social media intern, and yes, HR.
Things You Realize Quickly:
- Hiring is hard. Like, dating-app-profile-hard.
- Firing is harder. Especially when they cry. Or worse... you cry.
- Compliance is a word you Google daily. Along with “what is an I-9 form?”
Oh, and don’t forget the company mascot — your dog — who now listens to all your workplace grievances while wagging their tail like, "You're doing great, sweetie."
Your Google Doc: The Unsung HR Hero
When there's no HR software, you turn to what you know: Google Docs. It becomes your employee handbook, offer letter generator, interview notes collector, and a mildly judgmental journal.
Your HR Google Doc Probably Looks Like This:
- "Benefits: TBD but we have snacks?"
- "PTO Policy: Please text me first."
- "Disciplinary Actions: We’ll talk."
- "Remote Work Policy: Don’t get caught at the beach."
And don’t lie — you’ve definitely typed “HR Policy Template” into the search bar while stress-eating leftover pizza.
Pro tip: Add some color coding. At least look like you know what you’re doing.
When the Dog is Your Only HR Consultant?
Your dog is not just your emotional support animal anymore. Oh no.
In the world of solo entrepreneurship, they become:
- Chief People Officer: Always present, always judging.
- Morale Manager: Brings you a toy during tough Zoom calls.
- Conflict Mediator: Licks whoever is crying first.
What the Dog Thinks About HR Issues:
- Harassment complaint? "Pet everyone equally."
- Employee late again? "Maybe they sniffed a squirrel."
- Disciplinary write-up? "Give them a treat anyway."
Basically, your dog is the most compassionate HR rep ever. Also the most fur-covered.
Interviewing Candidates When You Have No Time, Energy, or Formal Process
Ah, the job interview. A sacred ritual where you, the founder, pretend to be a real HR person while trying not to reveal that your "office" is also your laundry room.
Interview Vibes:
- "So, tell me about your experience with chaos?"
- "Do you mind working in a company where ‘bring your dog to work’ is not just allowed but expected?”
- "We offer flexible hours, as in, I flex the rules daily."
And let’s be honest, if the candidate says they love dogs, they’re halfway hired.
Onboarding = "Here’s a Google Doc and My Personal Cell"
Once you finally find someone willing to work with you and your furry HR rep, it’s time for onboarding.
And by onboarding, we mean:
- Sharing a Google Drive folder with files that say “FINAL_FINAL_VERSION_2”.
- Sending a welcome email that includes phrases like “We’re chill” and “Let me know if you need snacks.”
- Scheduling a 9 AM Zoom call, then canceling because your dog threw up on the carpet.
Is it perfect? No. Is it happening? Technically, yes.
HR Compliance: The Everest You Never Trained For
Before starting a business, your biggest compliance concern was updating your iTunes terms. Now?
- FLSA, ADA, OSHA, EEOC — do these stand for something or is someone just trolling you?
- You have 47 tabs open, all ending in “.gov”.
- You’re pretty sure you filed that one form... maybe?
Compliance as a team of one looks like:
- Googling "Is this illegal?"
- Copy-pasting from the Department of Labor website.
- Asking your dog if this counts as wage theft.
Spoiler alert: Your dog doesn't know. But they support you anyway.
Performance Reviews That Involve Treats (for You or the Dog?)
When you finally get around to performance reviews, it’s just you and a lot of subjective feelings.
Your Review Format:
- Strengths: Doesn’t cry on Zoom anymore.
- Opportunities: Sleep more than 5 hours.
- Goals: Actually use the planner you bought.
Employee feedback usually looks like this:
- "More snacks in the breakroom."
- "Can we have a real breakroom?"
- "Can I pet the dog more often?"
Best part? The dog always gets five stars.
Terminations are 100% Worse When You Don’t Have HR Backup
Let’s get real. Firing someone when you’re the entire company is emotionally devastating. It’s also legally terrifying.
You try to stay calm, professional, and firm — while your dog jumps into the Zoom call and licks the screen.
Your Firing Script (Winging It Edition):
- "This is really hard for me..."
- "It’s not personal, it’s just... actually, it’s kind of personal."
- "Here’s a Google Doc with your final pay stub. Also, sorry."
HR tip of the day: If your Google Doc includes the words “oops” or “maybe,” it’s time to call a professional.
The Emotional Toll of Wearing Every Hat (Even the HR One)
Burnout is real. Managing HR — on top of marketing, operations, and remembering to feed yourself — is exhausting.
Common Solo HR Symptoms:
- Talking to your dog like they’re your therapist.
- Crying because someone asked for their W-2 again.
- Wondering if an Excel spreadsheet can be your friend.
Self-care tip: Schedule time off. Even if it’s just an hour in the park with your pup. Your business won’t implode. Probably.
Let’s Be Honest: You Need Help
Juggling HR responsibilities with zero training and a canine co-worker is heroic... but not sustainable. Eventually, Google Docs and good intentions can’t protect you from audits, lawsuits, or awkward team dynamics.
What You Really Need:
- Expert HR guidance.
- Legally-sound HR policies.
- Someone to tell you if your PTO plan is illegal.
And no offense to your dog, but they can’t file a report with the Department of Labor.
Introducing: Bambee – Your Real HR Department (Sorry, Fido)
Bambee gives you a dedicated HR manager who will:
- Craft compliant policies and handbooks
- Help you handle tough employee situations
- Manage onboarding, terminations, and everything in between
- Keep you out of HR jail (it’s a thing!)
Why Bambee Rocks:
- Affordable – HR support that won’t bankrupt your startup
- Responsive – Real people, real fast
- Easy to use – Way easier than managing 19 Google Docs
Your dog will be relieved. And so will you.
Final Woof (I Mean Word)
Running a business is hard. Running HR on your own is harder. But with humor, hustle, and maybe a little help from Bambee, you can go from "barely holding it together" to "actually thriving."
So give your dog a treat, close the 42 HR-related tabs, and let someone else handle the employee handbook.
Because let’s be honest: you were never going to finish that Google Doc anyway.
Ready to Get Your HR Act Together?
Try Bambee today and give your dog the retirement they deserve.
👉 Click here to learn more about Bambee.
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